Photo '89

OK, so it has been a while since I have taken the time (well, had the time) to fill out one of these blogospheres. I deeply apologize.


I've just been busy you see - Work :: Life :: Love.

I've always found it difficult to spare time to do things like this.

It's just not Me.

Still, I will persevere. And you shall read...

I see life as a photo album. Not cheesy memories, but seeing a different story.

Take this photo:

This photo was taken on a creative day out with my good friend Phil (check out http://therantingworldofphil.blogspot.com/ for an angry, but insightful look at the wonderous world we live in...).

Of the wide array of photos taken on the day, this was absolutely by far my favourite. There were others that I thought were great, but this one I was particularly proud of.

My girlfriend, Amy, picked this as the best:

Yeah I like it, but it is easily recreated. I could go out tonight and take a very similar photo. So could Amy. So could any other photographer. So could you.

The sun-kissed photo of the couple down the seafront could not be recreated. Not because I think I am better (which I do NOT), or some highly secret technique which I have been perfecting for years (i wish), but that there was only one moment in time where the photo could be snapped.

You can attempt to determine where they were going, what they were talking about, why they looked so bloody miserable on such a beautiful day in February.... The list could stretch as long as Southend Pier.

Because people watching is such a fantastic thing to do! Its the element of the unknown. You could look at that photo and read something different to me. 

Just like life.

Amy wasn't happy that I have been busy. She knows that I am sorry, and I know that she is sorry.

We see our album differently.

I've been so busy NOW, so that hopefully the future can be less stressful for us. But Amy was under the impression that I am simply TOO BUSY FOR HER.

I totally understand where she is coming from, and if our roles were reversed, there is no doubt I would feel the same way.

But such is the trouble with life. We care so much about what the other person reads from a situation, that we often overlook how happy we are that we are making a photo album with them in the first place.

I won't forget again any time soon.

Wannabe Western

As a film lover and self-proclaimed filmmaker ("Artiste darling!"), I enjoy nothing more than watching films. But that was never the whole picture.

You see, until about 18 months ago, I despised Westerns. I hated their lack of action, their lack of entertainment, their lack of, well, anything. In the XboxPS2WiiGameboyN64SuperNintendoSega splurge of an upbringing, I found it hard to believe that anybody would find that utter dribble any good.

Yet, my Mum (as Mums do) would always insist that I was depriving myself of brilliance. And I (as stubborn sons do) ignored her as if she were spouting Satanic text and had her clothes on backwards.

Just as she told me to take my jacket because it looked like rain (and naturally didn't), I got drenched. I got drenched in the world of the Wild West. The world of Clint Eastwood, John Wayne and their über cool nonchalant lives. And I have even gone a step further - I want to MAKE them.

But what I never realised, and will not be bringing it to my Mum's attention (unless one of you lot inform her!), is how often she has been right throughout my life.

Hitchcock? Yawn. (I now own a box-set of his work)

Motown? No thanks. (I now have numerous "Best-of" CDs)

The Beatles? The Eagles? Wearing a hat, scarf and gloves?

I think you get the picture.

I am sure that this sounds familiar to one of you, and my advice (maybe I should practice what I preach) is to listen to your Mum/Dad/Carer/Friend/Neighbor/Stalker/Gardener. Maybe it will benefit you as it has for me.

Hell, last time my Mum made me tidy my room I found twenty quid under my bed. But lets keep that between you and me eh?

"You are number 3 million in the queue. Your call is important to us."

So I haven't had much practice at this, but I can normally string together a sentence. So I thought it was worth a try.

A little about me; I'm 21, a graduate (not as glamorous as I thought it would be), and I want nothing more than to be a success.

Now I may sound selfish, or greedy, or I may even sound like a carbon-copy of you. But the only success I strive for is to have a happy life. I don't need all of life's wondrous materialistic things, and I certainly don't feel the need to start crapping money. But what I would like, most of all, is to be able to have a secure job, have a happy family, and be able to look after my parents when they need me.

It's not too much to ask is it?

I mean, come on; this is the country that brought us James Bond and Football, yet it can't bring the security of a job for millions of its people. Youth unemployment is at an all-time high, and lets put it this way, the Government's approach towards University fees has been less than well received.

For those of you who want to go to University, fantastic. For those who don't, this doesn't really affect you.  But for those who want to go but can't afford it? You have been cheated.

The ironic thing is, I planned to drivel on about some 'silver lining', to which your response would no doubt be "Who the hell does this guy think he is?". And you are right. I'm not anyone important, and I certainly can't tell you the way to think or live your life. The same as I don't expect David Cameron to see this blog and say, "You know what? Let's re-think our position on University fees".

Nevertheless, I am from the most recent batch of graduates, and yes, you may spit at your computer screens as I tell you I paid £3,000 a year, but I cannot yet see how this degree has benefitted me.

I work in a betting shop. My degree was for Television Production. I'd like to see a relevance, but I don't want to kid myself. Job offers I have had have been unpaid internships  (can't afford that, thanks-for-nothing) and nobody else has written back to me (shame on you!)

So my goal for success may be far away right now. And all I want to do is go and curl up on the sofa, watching a film and feeling sorry for myself. But at the same time I don't want to. I think I can achieve it, and I can't see myself giving up soon either.

Success is a real uphill battle. But I'm sure the view up there will be well worth it.